We went to the Megavalanche and all we got was this bloody t-shirt, oh and this view..

After last years assault on the Mega, how did the Rapids fare in 2007? Well pretty badly, really!!!!

It would appear that the racing luck has run dry for the Rapids at the moment. After a mediocre National Championships in Rheola two weeks ago, spirits were high fo the Megavalanche race in Alpe D’Huez – however things did not go accordingly to plan!

After a week of totally re-building our Socom’s and removing all that lovely Welsh mud, myself, Craig and Rob ‘Monkey Hands’ Turner set off for the south of France. Our first hurdle however, was how to attach three bikes to the roof of the car, with only two racks – the solution: 3000 zip ties and some 2” x 2”. How the Plod or the Gendarmerie didn’t stop us I don’t know!

It's all about the improvisation

After the gruelling 17 hour drive to the Alps, our first day was all about acclimatisation, especially the altitude. I never thought I’d be out of breath and getting a headache just from getting out of bed! So, to Tuesday: sunshine! The British ‘summer’ hasn’t really happened this year, and I’d forgotten what that bright yellow thing in the sky was – although he was definitely out in force this week, baking the trails, melting the glacial snow and burning my nose.

The trails in Alpe D’Huez are tough, but very rewarding. I guess this place isn’t as popular as other Alpine Mountain Bike destinations, as the riding is beyond a lot of people’s capability. There are so many large rock gardens and drops to injure you wouldn’t believe! A slip of concentration can result in very serious consequences.

A week of riding in Alpe D’Huez is a lot of fun though. Our week was spent practising the qualification and Mega courses for the race events on the weekend. However, mechanicals were always in the back of our minds, as was the heat. It took us a full day of riding to complete the Mega course due to punctures, mechanicals, lunch, picture stops and various other faffs. The snowy top section in particular required some extensive practise this year to develop some sort of technique: Weight over the front of the bike, weight over the back, one foot unclipped, two feet un-clipped, slide down on your ass, slide down on your face…there is no technique for riding a mountain bike on snow!

Mackie

Craig

Rob

So, to the qualification race. Having ridden this course before, we knew what to expect…sort of. The mass start on the loose switch backs as 200 riders go elbow to elbow into the tight turns, then onto the rock slab section and the riders start thinning out. I was told by team friend, spectator, and Mega veteran Jean-Claude that I was up to 12th in my group, then disaster... Trying to overtake a feisty mother-hucker who had just cut me up, I took a high-risk line and stacked in a rocky section. My back took a scrape, but my bike seems ok…apart from some progressively fading brakes – not what you need in the alps, in a race!

A glance down at my forks, and I could see oil all over the disc and fork leg – not good. I eventually slipped down to 28th place, enough for row (ligne) ‘G’ on the grid. Bromley, ever the understated, suggested he may have missed the cut in his qualifier due to an excursion down a rocky bank due to another over enthusiastic overtaking manoeuvre, only to pull out a very respectable xth place in his qualifier. He also had the scalp on one Nico Voullouz until the climb on the course – although Nico had punctured! Rob, riding his Big Sh1t avec 3” tractor tyre also put in a good result of xth place after having been delayed to pull a Land Rover out of a bog halfway down, although he did qualify 1 second ahead of Craig, bet you wished you’d put in that last pedal stroke eh! We all agreed that the qualifier was much harder than we remembered with huge arm pump as you were braking unnecessarily behind slow coaches, arm pump and oxygen debt was the biggest problems to endure. So, everything set-up for a decent race Sunday…

Bikes and bodies take a real pounding out here – not least two sets of 888 forks for me! My spare forks (trusty black beasts) landed heavily on a rock during qualification, resulting in fork oil covering the whole front end – including the brakes! After a brief consultation with friend of the team and World Cup spannerman Si Adams, I removed all the oil (except for a little bit of lubrication) from the damaged, compression leg, applied some duck tape and a puncture repair patch – and away I went! Tough set of forks those 888s!!! Craig and Rob had gone the entire holiday and qualifying with a major mechanical or a single puncture, but what would race day bring?

DIY Rapids style!

Another early start to get to the top of Pic Blanc at 3300m. However, at 6:30am, the views from the top were very rewarding. Unlike the toilets, which were by far the worst I’d ever been in – I feel sick just thinking about them. Craig was heaving at the smell as he used them. On the grid I was joined by fellow Brits Colin Adams, and Robbie from Psyclewerks, Bristol. On the row in front was none other than last year’s winner and 10 times world champion Nico Voullouz. As the helicopters circled, and the music played, the tension rose, until the tapes went up, and we were off. Cue carnage! Like the opening scene to Saving Private Ryan, bodies fell indiscriminately on the snow.

Thinking that Nico knows a few tricks, I managed to follow him for some time, taking a few short cuts on exposed rock sections. I also picked up a cheeky (legitimate) short cut whilst practising in the week, as did fellow Brit Geoff Werlock. The two of us sped down a twisty fireroad as the others flapped on the snow. I reckon we were in the top 50, then disaster! Taking a blind 2m drop-off my rear wheel hit the pointest of rocks: game over! The hole created could not be fixed, in fact I can put my finger through it!

As I walked dejected down the quiet mountain, the last of the stragglers passed me. Out of 700 riders, I was the only retiree, or was I…? Waiting for a lift down the mountain with the Alpine Marshalls, a lone rider appeared in the distance, having also retired. As he came closer I noticed him wearing the same jersey as me. Then I noticed he had the same bike as me. Then I noticed…it was Bromley! Out of 700 riders, the only 2 to retire in the top section were the Rapidracers! Ladyluck was not on our side. Bromley had also suffered the curse of the puncture with no less than 6, yes 6, holes in his tyres! Having mocked Rob in the week for his 3” Gazzalodi tractor tyre, the last laugh was on us. Mountain bike karma had bitten us on the arse again – when will we learn?

Mackie got Craig a nice sticker!

Having only ridden his DH bike once since the last Mega, Rob finished a highly respectable xth place. I shudder to think what he could do if he practised more! Well done mate, you showed us how it’s supposed to be done.

Rob the only finisher

So, our race didn’t really go to plan, although we’ll be back to Alpe D’Huez next year, even if we’re not going to race. We couldn’t be too down though, especially compared to the luck experienced by Hope rider Neil Arnold who not only dislocated his shoulder in practise, but had his Scott Ransom stolen the following day. If there is ever a more apt description of ‘adding insult to injury’ I’d like to know! Bad luck fella.

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